Party Envy

May 10, 2008

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Drool-worthy:  not my kitchen.

I recently picked my daughter up at a birthday party and I was taken aback to see she was crying.  My attempts to get to the bottom of it was met with complete resistance.  Her entire vocabulary seemed to have been whittled down to “I don’t know” and “I can’t explain.”  But as it often happens, bedtime hugs and snuggles were the pick to the lock of the secrets of the day. 

“I was … *sniff* … jealous, ”  she wailed.  Not of the fact that it was someone else’s birthday (she’s a veteran of at least 50 birthday parties with nary a glisten in her eye), but of its fabulousness.  The party was held at her home, you know, one of those typical suburban McMansions (the irony that people who use the term McMansion are those who cannot afford to live in a McMansion is not lost on the writer), with 34 of her closest friends.  I couldn’t physically have 35 seven year olds in my house (well, I suppose I could, but only with the aid of a Xanax).  And the party favors – well, let’s just say the hostess spent more of the favor than I did on the gift.

It was such a raw, open statement,  breath-taking in its simplicity and honesty.  It was the kind of statement that most people spend the rest of their lives diligently avoiding saying unless lying on a couch and paying someone to listen to them.  I kissed her for her bravery and told her it’s natural to feel jealous, but you can’t burst into tears every time someone has something better than you (otherwise I’d have mascara running down my face every time I walked past Williams-Sonoma or Neiman Marcus).  We talked about how blessed we are and how there will always be people who have better, faster, more expensive things than us.  And of the many, many more who have much less than us.

In that funny way the stars can align, I read this article after I put my daughter to bed (still slightly weepy – she is nothing if not dramatic).   But we all need to acknowledge the seven-year-old in all of us whenever the green-eyed monster bubbles up.   For me, it’s when I walk into the take-out queens’ gourmet kitchens the size of the entire first floor of my house.  I just say hello to it and then beat it down with my Le Creuset Dutch oven.  That sucker’s heavy.

One Response to “Party Envy”

  1. Cynthia Says:

    I am new to your blog, hope you don’t mind me poking around. It is a lovely visit. I agree with this post. We are simple people, and even though we might be able to afford a fancy house on the hill, the question is…do we need the fancy house? Most often the answer is no. I like my working class neighbors, some of them eek out a living, some of them don’t, but we all look out for each other. And yes, sometimes it is hard to see those fancy houses and think what if.

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